Reality Sucks. 

July 16th 2005
  I don't normally watch TV, I used to spend hours and hours watching TV when I was younger, sittingBrutal Fat Clint Kid around, getting fat, that kind of thing. The days before reality TV, hell even the talk shows had different subject matter, there used to be a time when you'd have all sorts of crazy folks saying they were anal probed or something or another. Hell there were even shows where people invited others to the show and surprised them with vacations or other nice things. Springer once had GWAR on his show, yeah huge demon rockers going on the show and having civilized conversations with some frightened fan's mother. G.G... Allin (R.I.P.) was on a few talk shows as well, the man started riots and ate his own feces on stage!
  There was a point when you could at least be semi-surprised with television, now you're pretty much guaranteed to just see a bunch of whores. I'm seriously disgusted every single time I turn on the television.
  Maury Povich has developed this formula for making money off of people's  pathetic lives, it's freaking sick. Sure the people put themselves on the show and I don't really feel sorry for them, more that I'm disgusted that people can reach this level. Whole shows dedicated to freaks of nature, yeah sure these kids have it rough, yeah it's sad, yeah they're more courageous than me, but I don't want to see any more of those 7 year old kids that look like they're 100, or burn victims or anything else. Sending them to Disneyland doesn't disguise the fact that their illness is being exploited for ratings. though anything in the timeslot will be watched, hell what else is on at 1am?
Then you have the paternity tests. Yeah, that shit is great, these people are only on screen for like 10 minutes if that. but in that time they manage to humiliate their loved ones on national television, I mean first off you get to find out that your wife is riding the pole of every dude in the neighborhood, then you hear that your first born daughter might not be yours. These people should all die deaths via blunt objects.
  Just put yourself in the shoes of these people.. I mean, some of them are actually happy that the kid is theirs, like... some other dudes were using your slut as a cum-depository, but that kid is yours so it's okay? Then you have the  guys that find out it's not their kid and don't use that as a get out of jail free card. Of course, Maury tells them that they're a real man for sticking with the bitch. Aneurysm eminent.  Not only did she destroy your life, she revealed it to you on TV, everyone in your town has just seen this, your friends, family, your next door trailer,. you name it, they all know your wife is a whore. . I don't care if paternity tests cost money, what happens when the kids grow up and see a tape about it. 
  Why pay for a test when you can just sacrifice any sense of self respect? 
 As i watch these episodes i feel a vein start to bulge out of my forehead, it grows and grows every second. I've seen this one girl go on Maury at least 3 times trying to find out who her baby daddy is. So far like 17 guys have been tested. In maybe a month she did that many dudes and still hasn't figured out who the guy is, well. I know my life was enriched from this newfound information, how about you?
 It rules how Maury runs off and comforts the girls when they're screaming in the hallway after they find out the results, as the free and clear men celebrate on the stage, suddenly the crowd is cheering them instead of booing them as they were before the test. Hmm. I can't tell if i think Maury is a pimp for doing this, or if he's a genius for exploiting these people anyway.
Of course, there's always the classic "extreme TV caught on tape" crap on all of the talk shows, not just Maury.  That's too boring to warrant any sort of amusing content.
 Anyone who watches enough of these damn shows will end up wondering if anyone is faithful, maybe everyone should be getting paternity tests, i mean, Maury has a never ending parade of people in need of them, maybe none of us are legitimate, that's what TV tells me.
Then again TV tells me that we should have elimidates to find our true loves, we'll all apply for jobs and if we're lucky we'll receive a rose and be the next American Short-order Cook.
 This might sound bad, but although I'm disgusted by the displays of humanity on these shows, I'm more angered by how boring TV has become, after Maury I saw that Carson Daly has his own talk show! Yeah, the TRL guy! If you turn on the MTV you'll find out that they give shows to unfunny fat kids with camcorders.
Maybe King of The Hill is syndicated and playing on 5 channels every night for a good reason.